Free thoughts

season 231 .

years ago ..i saw a window in the sky
i felt a flutter in my chest
lightly i leapt and opened it..
a charming world appeared behind ,two deep eyes lurking out there
who was staring at whom.me or it ?
coming closer to take a glance…a sigh came out me.
what beauty !..breathlessly wide eyed i began to chase .
every motion ,song , laugh , tear , beauty and grace.
days and nights came over me Mesmerizing still.
and a tear has dropped …knowing the fact .
am imprisoned .my head is out, my body is in.
i have been separated in two parts .
to never be there , never be here .
never be complete again.

Fatma

no am not gonna talk about suse !…emmm..have you seen a lizard lately?.. a human lizard , standing on two legs!! this is weird but i have seen !!
some time ago i have noticed something while i was riding “microbus” at “El Haram ” street..the driver was playing some foreign “Cassette song” and to be accurate a Disco one ..of course it wasn’t understood as these kind of songs depend on strongness of music and vague words. I was stunned a little..does he understand it..or is he enjoying it? i rides microbuses frequently and i know that in general drivers are a level of society ..share a taste of music and so forth..they are simple people want to earn their living and not a high class level…but i said at that time that every rule has an exception and that driver may be educationally different or at least intellectually so.
but another ride later in that street i noticed that the driver is playing soft and sensasual romantic song which can’t be enjoyed at all at that atmosphere of sweating and fees fights !! again i said he might be in love or whatever !! .these accidents repeated and in that street i heard all kinds of music. highly sensed songs or fashioned songs, carefully chosen ones, foreign and Arabic. and i began to wonder what differs “El Haram” drivers from drivers at other areas “which is so populated” and play “tenth level ” songs for local singers (no not s3d el sa3′yr ) , he is famous now .but not known singers .I think environment is the cause.environment may cause people to behave differently.

another prove for my discovery came from “Banking”..i ran in trouble lately with “ATM” machine in “El Giza” branch of my bank .and i had terrible 2 days and took a tour to all branches till i solved it “كعب داير” ,i noticed difference in those branches ” El Giza ” branch ,”El Haram” ,branch “El Dokki” . the lesser branch in customer service care was “El Giza” .

even mosques.. “El sayda Aesha” mosque is not the same as “Mostafa mahmod” mosque. the first lacks cleaning and concern while “Mostfa mahmood” which is located in a very special area surrounded by malls , companies and less popularly is so clean , has a screen in women part to show you “el emam” , even people attending it is behaving nicely .no shout for tiny reasons , calm faces .

so i believe that our behavior changes by our environment..our appearance also .”El Haram” drivers are affected by malls and shops ,casinos there which of course play latest kinds of music and songs. also Bank employees behave nicely in high class places because they are less stressed and may be (i say may) guided to behave so also because important figures live nearby !!

weird enough is that it also go on blogging..if you live in “Egypt” even if you are in good and wealthy position your writing would be affected by what you or others see and suffer from , and people will see “pain” pop up from your blog .if you in other wealthy less troubled country, your writing would show your personality much better because it won’t be stressed by mighty pressures .(every rule has exceptions).

i think being lizard is a human nature.

this dialog occured tonight:

me (on phone):hello (…) how are you , and how is work ?
my friend :fine thank you , i miss you so much.
me :me too, how about going out, you changed your mind or what ?
my friend :nooo , you know i wanna see you just tell me when.
me : emm…what about tonight after “el fetar” , but pleassssssssss we want to enjoy time out try to meet me early directly after “eftar”, or we may eat anything outside.

my friend: emm..ok but what time?
me:after eating directly ! go out from your home at 6 .
she :at 6 !!!!!!!! what are you mad .i would be eating
me:eating at 6 .”el athan” is 5:40 , so 20 min is not enough , what are you food store , we suppose not eating so much suddenly this is so bad for your tummy ..and not from “sonna” also you know , when you finish eating so??!!
she :6:30 at least.
me:what !!!!!!!!!!!
she :you know…you are mad ,you are the only one that eat so little, ask any normal person .
me :pause………..
she :laughing.

what is that ..i wonder am i the only one that can’t eat more than 15 min on eftar..isn’t that a normal rate??

oh , i just love it !

What does she say ?

this is my first post here…i have been thinking long ago of writing in english..what it would be like?would it feel different to me?..i think the idea of leaving arabic totally ..stirred my idealities..and prevented me long time..but as time passes i feel that for some reason writing in english would be  different..more flexible to me i guess..and i realized that one should express what he sees in whatever way he likes..this is the way things should go.so i began to ask myself..why writing in english would feel me more flexible and how..and i think the best way to answer is to practice..ha.!….so say hello to me..welcome tim in your home…weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

ps.am gonna keep my arabic blog.